Narcissists The Blame Game

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In relationships with narcissists, the blame game becomes a twisted dance of manipulation and control. These individuals excel at shifting blame onto their victims,

leaving them confused, doubting themselves, and questioning their own sanity. By understanding the tactics used by narcissists to deflect responsibility,

we can begin to reclaim our power and break free from their toxic grasp.

Narcissists will often use gaslighting, which involves making their victims doubt themselves and their reality.

They may deny statements they made earlier or twist the facts to support their agenda.

By maintaining control and keeping their partner in a state of confusion, narcissists can avoid responsibility for any wrongdoings.

Gaslighting: Rewriting Reality a Narcissist’s Favorite Weapon


Gaslighting is a manipulative tactic employed by narcissists to distort the victim’s reality and make them doubt their own sanity.

It involves rewriting facts, denying events, and even outright lying to manipulate the victim’s perception of reality.

Gaslighting is a powerful tool that allows narcissists to maintain control and avoid taking responsibility for their actions (Scientific American).

By projecting their own flaws and insecurities onto others, narcissists shift blame and divert attention away from themselves.

This tactic, known as projection, undermines the victim’s credibility and self-worth (The Guardian).

Narcissists often use deflection to redirect blame onto others.

When confronted with their wrongdoing, they skillfully shift the focus to unrelated issues or someone else’s behavior, avoiding accountability in the process (Quora).

Playing the victim card is another manipulation tactic employed by narcissists.

By portraying themselves as the injured party, they elicit sympathy and deflect blame onto others. This can leave the true victim feeling isolated and unsupported (New Scientist).

Narcissists may also resort to smear campaigns, spreading false rumors and tarnishing the victim’s reputation. By damaging the victim’s credibility, the narcissist ensures that blame remains on the victim (Thought Catalog).

Recognizing these tactics is crucial for breaking free from the cycle of blame.

Trusting your instincts, seeking support from trusted individuals,

and setting boundaries can help regain power and protect yourself from the manipulative tactics of narcissists (Restored Hope Counseling Services).

Gaslighting, as a form of psychological manipulation, aims to control how you perceive reality. Gaslighters make you question your own version of events, leaving you confused and disoriented (Medium).

In conclusion, gaslighting involves the rewriting of reality and manipulating the victim’s perception.

Recognizing these tactics is essential for reclaiming personal power and breaking free from the cycle of blame (Rewriting the Rules).

Projection: Mirror, Mirror


Projection is a defense mechanism utilized by narcissists to attribute their own flaws, insecurities, and negative behaviors to others.

By projecting their shortcomings onto their victims, they shift blame and create a distorted narrative where they are the innocent party (Psychology Today).

This tactic not only deflects responsibility but also undermines the victim’s credibility and self-worth. It can make the victim question their own actions and feel guilt or shame for things they are not responsible for (The Huffington Post).

Narcissists often project their feelings of inadequacy onto those around them,

using criticism and blame as a means to protect their fragile ego. They may accuse others of the very behaviors and traits that they possess themselves (Psych Central).

By projecting their negative qualities onto others, narcissists maintain a false sense of superiority and avoid addressing their own deep-seated issues.

This manipulation tactic allows them to escape accountability while placing the burden on their victims (Psycom).

Recognizing projection is crucial in dealing with narcissistic behavior.

By understanding that their accusations and criticisms are often reflections of their own inner struggles,

victims can begin to regain their confidence and break free from the cycle of blame (Psychology Today).

Deflection: Look Over There

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Deflection is a common tactic used by narcissists to redirect blame away from themselves. When confronted with their own wrongdoing,

they skillfully shift the focus onto an unrelated issue or someone else’s behavior.

By doing so, they effectively deflect attention from their actions and avoid taking responsibility (Psychology Today).

Narcissists are skilled at diverting conversations and manipulating situations to make it seem like someone or something else is the problem.

They may bring up past mistakes or unrelated events to distract from the current issue at hand.

This tactic keeps the victim on the defensive and prevents them from addressing the narcissist’s harmful actions (Healthline).

By shifting the focus onto another person or circumstance, narcissists create confusion and chaos, making it difficult for the victim to hold them accountable.

They use deflection as a means to maintain control and avoid facing the consequences of their behavior (Psych Central).

It is important for individuals dealing with narcissistic behavior to recognize and understand the tactics of deflection. By staying focused on the original issue and refusing to be sidetracked,

victims can begin to break free from the cycle of blame and hold the narcissist accountable for their actions (Psychology Today).

Playing the Victim: Poor Me

Signs Narcissism

Playing the victim is a manipulation tactic often employed by narcissists to evoke sympathy and shift blame onto others. By portraying themselves as the injured party,

they manipulate the emotions of those around them and deflect accountability for their actions (Psychology Today).

Narcissists may exaggerate or fabricate situations to elicit pity and portray themselves as helpless victims. They use this tactic to gain attention,

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sympathy, and control over others, making it difficult for others to hold them accountable (Healthline).

Playing the victim allows narcissists to avoid taking responsibility for their behavior and deflect any criticism or consequences. By painting themselves as the one who is suffering,

they manipulate others into feeling guilty or obligated to support and protect them (Psych Central).

This manipulation tactic can leave the true victim feeling invalidated and unsupported, as the focus is shifted away from their own experiences and onto the narcissist’s self-pitying narrative.

It can be emotionally draining and confusing for those caught in the web of the narcissist’s victim mentality (The Huffington Post).

Recognizing this manipulative behavior is crucial in breaking free from the cycle of blame. By setting boundaries, trusting your instincts, and seeking support from trusted individuals,

you can protect yourself from being manipulated by those who play the victim (Psychology Today).

Smear Campaigns: Dirtying Your Reputation


A smear campaign is a tactic often employed by individuals or groups to tarnish someone’s reputation by spreading false or damaging information about them.

It is a malicious strategy used to discredit and harm the target’s image, relationships, and livelihood (Psychology Today).

Narcissists and other manipulative individuals may engage in smear campaigns as a means of power and control. They spread rumors,

distort the truth, and manipulate others into believing negative things about their target. By doing so, they aim to isolate the target, erode their support system, and damage their credibility (Psych Central).

Smear campaigns can have devastating effects on the target’s personal and professional life.

The spread of false information and rumors can lead to damaged relationships, loss of opportunities, and a decline in mental well-being.

The goal of the smear campaign is to undermine the target’s self-esteem and make them feel powerless (The Huffington Post).

Recognizing the signs of a smear campaign is crucial in protecting oneself. It is important to maintain a strong support network, document any instances of false accusations,

and seek legal advice if necessary. By staying resilient and focusing on the truth, the target can mitigate the impact of the smear campaign and rebuild its reputation (Psychology Today).

Triangulation: Divide and Conquer

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Triangulation is a manipulative tactic used by individuals to create conflict, confusion, and control in relationships.

It involves bringing a third party into a relationship or situation with the intention of pitting them against someone else in order to assert dominance and manipulate the dynamics (Psychology Today).

By involving a third person, the manipulator effectively creates a divide between two other individuals. This can be done by spreading gossip,

playing one person against the other, or seeking validation and support from the third party in a way that undermines the original relationship (Healthline).

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Triangulation serves to destabilize the targeted relationship and weaken the bond between the two individuals involved.

The manipulator gains power by exploiting the insecurities and vulnerabilities of those they are triangulating, making it easier for them to maintain control (Psych Central).

This manipulation tactic can have detrimental effects on relationships,

causing mistrust, resentment, and emotional turmoil. The third-party may unknowingly become a pawn in the manipulator’s game,

while the original individuals experience confusion and strife (Psychology Today).

Recognizing triangulation is crucial in protecting oneself and maintaining healthy relationships. Open communication, setting boundaries,

and seeking support from trusted individuals can help navigate the challenges posed by triangulation and prevent it from causing long-term damage (Psych Central).

Breaking Free

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Breaking free from manipulation and toxic dynamics is a powerful and liberating journey. Here are some steps to reclaim your autonomy and well-being:

Educate yourself about manipulative tactics, such as gaslighting, guilt-tripping, and emotional abuse. Understanding these behaviors will help you identify them when they occur in your relationships.

Your intuition is a valuable tool. If something feels off or manipulative, listen to that inner voice. Trust yourself and your feelings, even if others try to dismiss or invalidate them.

Establish clear boundaries and communicate them assertively. Let others know what behaviors are unacceptable to you and be prepared to enforce those boundaries if they are violated.

Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or professionals who can provide guidance and support. Having a strong support network can help validate your experiences and empower you to take action.

Prioritize your well-being by engaging in activities that bring you joy and help restore your emotional balance. Take care of your physical health, practice mindfulness, and engage in self-reflection.

Learn effective communication techniques that allow you to express your needs, wants, and boundaries confidently. Being assertive empowers you to advocate for yourself without resorting to manipulation or aggression.

If you’re struggling to break free from manipulation or if the impact on your mental health is severe, consider seeking therapy or counseling. A trained professional can provide guidance and support tailored to your specific situation.

Remember, breaking free from manipulation takes time and courage.

Be patient with yourself and celebrate every step you take towards reclaiming your autonomy and building healthier relationships. You deserve to live a life free from manipulation and toxicity.


In conclusion, smear campaigns and triangulation are manipulative tactics used to harm and control others.

Smear campaigns involve spreading false or damaging information to tarnish someone’s reputation,

while triangulation involves creating conflict and division by involving a third party in a relationship.

These tactics can have devastating effects on individuals, causing emotional distress, damage to relationships, and a decline in well-being.

Recognizing the signs of manipulation is crucial in protecting oneself. By educating ourselves, trusting our instincts, setting boundaries,

seeking support, practicing self-care, developing assertiveness skills, and seeking professional help if needed, we can break free from manipulation and toxic dynamics.

Remember, you deserve to live a life free from manipulation and to have healthy, respectful relationships.

By taking steps to reclaim your autonomy and well-being, you can move forward on a path of personal growth and happiness.

Any questions ask your certified life coach,

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